Thanks, Adrienne.

If you've ever read Adrienne Rich's "Compulsory Heterosexuality and Lesbian Existence," you know its not an easy text to get through. It challenges all the notions we have about heterosexuality and what it means to have a gendered sexuality.

A few weeks back was National Coming Out Day. I heard so many amazing, heart-wrenching, empowering stories from my friends and total strangers about the bold and fierce ways in which they discovered and revealed their sexuality. A common thread in many of these stories, is realizing at a young age that something about you is essentially different, and knowing that difference by use of the language you are given as you grow up. One of the reasons I love Adrienne Rich's essay, is because she makes room for everyone who hasn't shared in that "essential knowingness." There is something very real and tangible about living your entire life believing that you are legitimately straight, and only later returning to events, moments, people, that lead you to believe otherwise. Its not always dramatic, its not always heart-wrenching and filled with fear. Its the realization that you have been successfully gendered inside of a system built to turn out heterosexual persons. The system works, and in some scenarios, flawlessly well, to make people experience boundaries and binaries as infallible.

I want to say that finding the language to question this type of a system is hard. It is necessarily difficult. It means seeing equations with solutions different then you thought the numbers would add up to. But it is not broken, and it is not wrong. On the contrary, it is -- exciting. It is empowering. As you question your production by this system, know that one of the most important discoveries is the fact that you were brave enough to ask the questions in the first place. Relish in that moment. As for where to go next? Its hard to say. But I know that having this dialogue feels right.

Need definitions?

http://afeministtheorydictionary.wordpress.com/2007/07/18/compulsory-heterosexuality/

Ask a Feminist Day

I'll admit that my minimalistic blogging has been less personal in an effort to focus on specific issues that I find pertinent at the time, but today might be a little different. As I work to balance working two jobs, Collegiate Forensics, and my very active position in UWEC College Feminists, I tend to get a little frantic. But today was incredibly rewarding, and I want to tell you why.

Today I sat in the Davie's Lobby for 4 straight hours at our "Ask a Feminist" table. I wore my college fems t-shirt, drank a cup of tea, and waited for students in route to lunch, class, etc to stop by and ask questions. I was immediately frustrated.

This table set-up, although aiming to seem inviting with our brightly colored signs, t-shirt display, and friendly faces behind the table, wasn't drawing the attention we needed or expected. So I took a more active approach, and started to make eye-contact and greet passers-by, hoping that my invitation might give them an opening to any queries they may or may not have. Casey stopped by. This wonderful young freshman, boldly sat down with us- resting his backpack aside a chair, and laid out a wordy, heady question.

After hashing out the details of his questions, which were basically: "What makes feminism different than humanism, what other problems do women face besides unequal representation in politics, and do feminists really believe that masculinity is a bad thing?" We generated an amazing conversation. As it turns out, Casey was raised in a home environment that made him in a way, very blind to the polarized nature of gender roles, and as such, has never really seen or felt the oppression of such binaries. But in explaining that feminism on its current course, has become multi-faceted, generational, cultural, and just generally inclusive, Casey seemed incredibly receptive and understanding of our goals. We talked about what Women's Studies courses at the U he might enjoy, and what other outlets he could seek for similar ideals and socially progressive ideologies.

At first the connection between the feminist movement and the gay rights movement didn't seem apparent to him, but as my sister feminist Betty explained, if you look at a birdcage up close, you might not see the full range of intersections that the wires make--- but as you back further and further away, you can see just how connected the wires that make up the cage are. I am so happy that Casey stopped by our table and that we were able to debunk some myths and share some insight, as well as understand the standpoint he brings with him.

So I guess where I am going with all of this is... You can put up the sign, you can bring tea to share, but if you don't reach the people, then your message, in its entirety, isn't shared. Make eye-contact, be bold, sit down and set down your backpack. Stay for a while. Ask and share and listen. Imagine what we could do if we all just listened to each other for a while.