Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Language House


So over the course of the summer my travels around the midwest tend to take me back home to my (even smaller) small town to reminisce with friends and family... generally with a Pabst Blue Ribbon in hand. If you get the reference, yes, we're that kind of town. And I love these trips because I feel like they keep me grounded to the real salt of the earth, where I "came from," so to speak. But I always leave feeling like there's a battle I left because I was too afraid to fight it.
After catching up about recent happenings in our day-to-days, maybe while joking around by the campfire, I often hear words fly out of the mouths of my oldest and dearest friends that I have categorized, highlighted, and rehearsed as Hate Speak. When my gal friends address one another as "Cunts" "Whores" "Bitches" and "Sluts" I've gotta wonder what the hell I am doing hanging out with these people. But I remember and remind myself, they are good people. Further on down the road I hear them say "That's so gay" "Faggot" "That's retarded" "What a reh-tard" (The newest Hangover variety). wondering, What went wrong here?
I guess what I have to say is, I hate how naturalized and normalized hate speak has become. To address it in scenarios like this seems almost a wash, and a fruitless battle, as every time I bring it up I hear this, or some version, of this response: "Sarah, can you please lay off with the Women's stuff tonight? We're just having a good time." Well, what I think is, why can't you use a different word? Language is so plentiful and lush, why WASTE time with words that come at the expense of marginalized groups? Its lazy, and its unimaginative. Not to mention rude.
In the end I know that I need experiences like these when I return home again. Treading on familiar ground with a fresh mindset makes you realize how much you have changed, and how much work needs to be done. I don't know if my friends and family will ever really watch their mild-intentioned hate-speakin' tongues... but I know one thing for sure:
Every time they roll a "Cunt, Slut, Whore, Bitch, Retard, Gayrod, Faggot" off their tongues, I will be there to say COME ON! You're killing me Smalls! If nothing else--- when they say the words, they will remember all the fuss I gave them about it, and maybe, just maybe, they will search the lexicon for something a little bit more creative. Good grief.